Oh where do I begin?  I'm one of the rare breed of people who is a fan of Twilight, yet will acknowledge the long list of flaws this series seems to exude.  I'm the type who will tell you that Robert Pattinson is a great actor stuck in a role that he doesn't like, that he's not good at, and that he does not look good pasty, bare-chested, and looking like a glittered-up pretty boy.  I believe that Twilight is a generic vampire romance with an innovative plot device but a severely flawed execution.  But if I just take it as a whole, it won't do this justice.  No, I intend to break up this book series and show you my findings after examining this four-book series.  You may agree with me, you may not agree with me.  Regardless, here is my humble take, piece-by-piece.

Alright, let's start with the setting.  On one hand, a somewhat remote and rustic setting was what this needed, particularly the rain as far as her version of vampires is concerned.  But other than the convenience of the nearby Native American reservation and the damn-near constant rain, the location was bland at best and really didn't offer much.  Often times, when trying to immerse myself in the book, I'd find the setting a bit hazy in my head.  Not that she didn't describe it well enough, but I guess in the back of my mind, I frankly just didn't care.  Stephanie Meyer didn't pique my interest in where Bella was, only the interactions around her and while the main aspect of a story IS the interaction between characters, there should be a bit of an immersion into a story for the reader.  For example, I felt that quite often with Harry Potter.  I could damn-near swear I was in Hogwarts quite a few times.  I won't go there, though, this is a review on Twilight.  Perhaps I'll go into Harry Potter for my next one.

The next thing is the characters.  I'm not even going to count the movie at all, because the characters' faults in that were also largely due to the acting talent, if it can be called such a thing.  I still insist that Charlie is the only really well-played character in the movies.  Even only counting the book characters, though, I still have a bit of a bone to pick.

First, let's begin with Edward.  I have so much rage for Bella that we'll save her for last.  One of the things that really gets me about Edward is that he's not perfect.  Most people would scoff at this and roll their eyes at me for how much girls rant about "their Edward", but hear me out.  At the very least, he feel jealousy, he covets, he can be incredibly pigheaded.  He is more human than some of the actual humans in the series.  A big beef I have with him is that if he believed he was bad for Bella, he should have stayed away from the get-go.  Instead the idiot gets close to her out of his own selfishness, then once she feels she cannot live without him, THEN is when he grows a conscience and tries to remove himself from her life, ripping her a proverbial new asshole.  Another thing that kinda irked me was that Edward constantly talks of the time he was from and how his customs seem old fashioned because of that.  But it's not as if Edward time traveled to this time and is still used to old customs.  He's lived this whole time!  Lived, interacted, been mostly normal!  You're telling me that someone who constantly is trying to adapt and seem human can't adapt as far as what's modern and the current view of things?  It just doesn't make sense to me.  I said this was a review on the books, not the movies, but an added line to the movie summed up the issue with Edward and Bella's early marriage rather nicely.  Edward mentions that marriage in the "time he comes from" marriage means "I love you" to which Bella retorts that in her time it means "I got knocked up."  You're telling me someone supposedly living among humans so long wouldn't realize what this looks like?  But whatever, other than that, I suppose he's a decent character.  He doesn't feel as developed or interesting as some of his family members, but he's certainly a far leap a better character than Bella.

Then there's Jacob Black.  I often feel pity for this character more than anything.  Not only because of what Bella does to him but what he does to himself.  How he deludes himself and gives himself hope for being with Bella.  I feel angry that when he finally realizes how unfair Bella is to him, he still takes any bone she throws at him and even forgives her for many numbers of things.  For anime fans, it's the same beef I have with Naruto and Sakura.  You feel anger toward the female for her emotional abuse of the male in question, yet you want to beat the male over the head for his infinite pool of patience, forgiveness, and caring.  This feeling increased for me when it was learned that Jacob is a werewolf and he starts to become more angry and aggressive due to his werewolf nature.  Yet he STILL isn't hardened enough to do what he needs to and drop Bella.  His backstory doesn't interest me much, there's not really a lot to it, but a lot happens to him over the book and he is the character you find yourself pitying most, whether it be due to Bella's machinations or his own.

The Cullens and Charlie.  I put these in a group together because, in my opinion, they are the best written of the characters.  Charlie is the perfect example of an awkward single father who cares unerringly for his daughter.  He is strict when he needs to be and wants to be there for her, even when the situation is something he doesn't understand or isn't allowed to understand.  As for the Cullens, they are very well varied in their personalities and upbringings.  I will say that Esme is rather underdeveloped as far as her past is concerned but most of the Cullens have personalities that really let me connect with the family.  Alice is the cheerful psychic who back in her day was in the nut house for seeing visions.  Rosalie is a vane and beautiful woman with a tragic past who resents her vampirism.  Their leader is a doctor despite their vampire problem and is incredibly sympathetic of people.  I could go on about them, but if you haven't read the books it's likely you don't care, and if you HAVE read the books, you already know.

Bella's friends are also rather well done when they actually show up, but as her human friends, they are severely neglected.  I often felt anger and exasperation at Mike not being able to get on with his life and get over Bella, even going as far as to have some rather inappropriate thoughts about her on her wedding day.  Still, the snob girls are snobs.  The jocks are jocks.  The nerds are nerds.  There is a good bit of variety among the school stereotypes and it helps to add a little sprinkle of normalcy in Bella's otherwise insane world.

The Quilette's are actually not too bad, either.  The fact that their transformations tear their clothes actually makes sense in a way and is more realistic but I find it incredibly ridiculous that she had to make them all a bunch of tanned beefcakes that look hopped up on steroids.  Really, Stephanie?  I mean, us girls like our eye candy and all, but this was a completely unneeded detail.  She could have easily had normal-sized men who turned into huge, strong wolves.  The growth spurt and rippling muscles were merely a fantasy of hers come true in written form for her own perverse amusement.  And maybe to try to rush adolescent girls a little quicker toward puberty.  I still feel that of all the Quilette's, Sam was the best developed.  He had the best back story and was rather level headed.

Finally... we get to Bella.  I am going to say this as bluntly as I can.  Bella is a self-inserted Mary Sue of Stephanie Meyer made for her to fulfill whatever whole is in her life right now.  When writing a story, often times imagining yourself as your character helps to get them more in character and helps you write them better.  This goes far beyond that.  First, let us define a Mary Sue.  Wikipedia states it best as "A Mary Sue, in fanfiction, is a fictional character with overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as a wish-fulfillment fantasy for the author or reader."  Beautiful, it's like poetry.  To better define a Mary Sue, they are a walking contradiction, far moreso than a normal human.  Humans are very much a contradition but a Sue manages to bring this to an epic level.  The Sue can have many flaws that people overlook and actually see as part of her charm, a tragic past everyone throws her a pity party for or a perfect life she throws herself a pity party for, and in general the author throws everything they can into making the character out to be someone so wonderful that the mere thought of her makes you want to shove your finger down your throat and vomit.

Bella fits this to the letter as far as I'm concerned.  A big chuckle moment for me was Bella within the first few chapters of the book.  She complains about the immaturity of her mother and her relationship with her with Bella being the adult more than her mother.  She moves with her father to let her mother do what makes her happy then proceeds to tell anyone within earshot how much she hates rain.

WELL IT'S A DAMN GOOD THING YOU DIDN'T MOVE TO THE RAINIEST FUCKING STATE IN THE U.S.!!!  Oh wait...

Despite her apparently selflessness and personality of pure sacrifices, she thinks and does some of the most selfish things in the entire series.  Hell!  She says, thinks, and does some of the more selfish things I've ever witnessed!  It boggles my mind!

But is Bella a Mary Sue?  Not counting the insanely high score she gets on the Universal Mary Sue Litmus Test (google it), she shows too many signs.  She's selfish yet wants to sacrifice everything else she doesn't want to cling to.  Everyone, whether it's the author or Bella's classmates, has to point out how smart, pretty, kind, and funny Bella is.  One of Bella's few flaws are her clumsiness and fear of blood, but these could be considered less of flaws as much as plot devices, and she's even considered cute because of them at times!  Everyone seems to want to line up and fall head over heals for Bella for NO REASON WHATSOEVER!  Why, because she's the main character?  Isn't that breaking the fourth wall just a bit?  

This is going to be one of my biggest Bella points, because this is also a huge Sue point.  The point where everyone seems to love her, even when there's no reason why they should.  Edward falls for Bella because.... he can't read her mind?  They barely say anything to each other about themselves in the whole damn book!  The only thing they learn about each other is that Bella likes to read the same damn book over and over and that they both love music, Edward moreso than Bella.  That's. It.  Not saying that love at first sight can't happen, nor am I saying that mutual love of a few things can't blossom into a bigger love.  I am, however, skeptical as to how this evolves in such a short time into a love where Bella and Edward would rather DIE FOR EACH OTHER than see the other die or leave them.  I mean, really?  Overreaction much?  If I like anime, a guy likes anime, and the two of us hit it off, I'm not about to go off myself if he gets hit by a damn bus, I'm sorry.  Also, it irks me that half of their conversations can be summed up as thus: "I want you to make me a vampire, Edward." "No Bella, I won't take your soul."

No, really.

With Jacob, she seduces the poor boy early on for information and he seems to just not be able to let it go.  When Edward leaves, he's the one to heal her.  I won't even go far into how she uses Jacob to fix bikes so she can see hallucinations of Edward, proving once again how much of a load of shit the selflessness thing is.  But Jacob gets under her hardened shell and starts to bring life to her.  And how does she repay him?  Even when Edward comes back, she teases him, torments him, constantly tells him how much she needs him but how she can't be with him because she loves Edward.  She has Edward and yet she strings Jacob around by his balls as.. what?  A backup?  Mike falls for her also for no visible reason and is apparently so unable to let go of this that even at her wedding day he's thinking about her in bad, bad ways.  Tyler nearly hits her with his car and apparently this is license to claim she's going to prom with him.  Even Aro seems to have some weird... thing.  But Aro is so flamboyant that he doesn't count because lord knows what the hell he's ever thinking.

Which reminds me.  I love the Volturi as a group and think they're wonderful baddies, though at times they are brought into the spotlight so few times that I miss them and feel they're not as developed as they could be.

Anyway, back to Bella.  The Edward-Bella-Jacob triangle pissed me off the most.  Edward screws with Bella's head with his ability then inability to let her go, then ability to let her go again should she choose regardless of his jealous behavior behind his claims.  Bella loves both men and spends a good deal of time making sure neither can live without her, for which we're still wondering WHY?  And Jacob plays too many tricks and deceptions in his attempt to get Bella to realize she loves him, though he's deluded into thinking this will get him the girl.  I'm also of the large opinion that Jacob imprinting on Reneesme was a total deux ex machina, but whatever.

Past the characters, we have the actual plot.  The first book was... okay.  It had the basic storytelling elements at any rate.  We had the intro, Bella coming to Forks.  The body, along with the introduction of the antagonist, James, and the conflict, his need to hunt and kill her.  This came up to a climax, the battle in the studio against James.  Then we had the ending with Bella and Edward at an impasse about Bella's mortality.  Pretty good all considering.  Then you have the second book, with the unnecessary cruelty from Edward toward Bella in the form of being so possessive and selfish as to keep her around, then instead of that selfish possessiveness spurring him to watch her and protect her more carefully, it causes him to remove himself completely from her life, ripping himself out of the neat little hole in her heart he'd carved out for himself.  Granted, a lot of what happens in the second story is Bella's fault for just clinging to his memory and becoming a vegetable.  The thing that gets me is that the second and third books could have easily been one book.  The third book just drags out a theme we resolved at the end of book two: the issue with the main triangle.  At the end of book two, Bella flat-out tells Jacob it can't work.  At this point, there should have been a wedding and the fourth book's plot should have taken off.  Instead we get a whole book's worth installment of the torment of the three of them, including the resolution with Victoria, which is brought up in book two then fizzles in the worst way possible.  I mean, you literally see her chased off then she just... doesn't come back.  And they just forget about her?  Bella is really that shocked in book three that Victoria is still around and after her?  Geez.

The fourth book is a toss-up for me.  It has a confrontation (I refuse to call it a battle) with the Volturi at the end, Bella's vampire life, and you get to see a lot more vampires with some interesting abilities besides the Cullens.  The angst with the triangle finally comes to a close as well, which was a relief, but not before Edward makes things very awkward during Bella's pregnancy (we'll get to that in a moment) by suggesting Jacob mate with Bella.

At the same time, there were a number of things plot-wise in the fourth book that just made me want to facepalm.  Like the fact that Bella magically gets pregnant by her vampire boyfriend, whose unchanging and ungrowing body apparently still has the ability to create sperm?  Even when she makes a point that vampires' bodies are frozen in time?  You'd think that would include the body's ability to create sperm, but whatever.  There's also Bella's ability to excel at being a vampire, which actually annoyed me more than confused me.  Also, the final confrontation with the Volturi, while clever, isn't very riveting.  Emotional? Yes. Emotional? You betcha!  Exciting?  Erm.... no.  Bella shields everyone, Alice shows undeniable evidence in their favor, and the Volturi just... walk away.  Also, Jacob imprinting on Bella's daughter just felt like the weirdo straw that broke the werewolf's back.  WHY?  Stephanie Meyer has such difficulty having Bella assert her decision over Jacob that she has to do this?

That fact that she's extraordinary for a vampire pissed me off as well.  She is able to resist hunting, she's able to learn to project her shield faster than a vampire who has lived much longer and has been practicing projecting her ability for a long time, and is apparently more graceful than a normal vampire?  Especially after how much of a klutz she was?

Okay, maybe you can pass her ability to resist hunting off as good planning and a bleeding heart, so to speak.  But the shield thing was just ridiculous.  It just adds to the Mary Sue thing.  Never mind that being a vampire is an upgrade to her former form.  She has to go above and beyond?  Please.

The vampires are another irk of mine.  Okay, I will admit that it was creative of her in a way.  Vampires are a very cliched species and often there is a usual formula for this nonsense.  No sunlight, allergies to garlic, heart wounds fatal, sleeping in coffins, higher level of strength, sometimes hypnotic abilities, sharp elongated fangs... So it's refreshing to see a new take on vampires.  But really?  Sparkly skin?  Stone-like skin?  An eighth spectrum color?  Oi vey...

I guess I should try to wrap up this long mess of mental process.  I guess the point I'm trying to make is that this book series is like a series of fanfictions written by a teenage girl to insert herself in an escapist world of her own choosing where the character is everything she wishes she could be, and is with someone she wishes she could find in the real world.  I think the idea of two people, a human and vampire, falling in love and having to overcome the difference in species as well as the demands of the vampire council to have her killed or turned is a wonderful story premise.  I think that as far as vampire romances are concerned, the raw plot is wonderful and for the most part I enjoyed reading it if only because of that.  However, as I stated, it could have been presented much better.  The characters could have been presented differently and Bella made into less of a Mary Sue while still staying enjoyable.

Why do people like this series?  I thought about it and it's actually rather simple.  Most of the fans will agree that it's the forbidden romance angle.  They could be a human and an alien, an angel and a demon, or even just two people of rival races.  It's the Romeo and Juliet angle and us girls in particular just eat that shit right up.  However, I also believe it's an escapist maneuver, especially with the book being written in first person.  It makes it very easy for the reader to implant themselves in Bella's shoes about as easily as Stephanie did.  And for those of us that love to immerse ourselves in the book's environment, it gives the reader a chance to be loved, wanted, extraordinary, and many other things we wish we could be.  I'll admit that's probably a large reason of why I read it and liked it so much at first.  It's illogical, it's idealistic, and furthermore it's impossible for someone's life to be full of so much drama, romance, and excitement, but everyone wishes now and again that their life wasn't so mundane as the real world.  That we all had our own Edward to take us away from it all, so to speak.  Or for the men, whatever woman you can think of from whatever it is you're into.

Regardless, I believe this is the reason that many people who read so much hate to see a series end.  Why we get so hooked into a series.  Why some of us will go as far as to cry over a simple story.  The author only need immerse you in their world and give you some reason to want to stay in it.  Whether it be because you enjoy the thought of your imagined position in the story or you like the characters around you and want to know more of their story, it's a sad thing to see a series end and the characters leave with it.

To me, Twilight is a good series.  Is it the best book series to ever come around?  Certainly not.  But it's been a while since a good vampire romance came out and some of us were starving for it.  That and Harry Potter ended too long ago, what else were we going to read? lol

For comments, flames, and whatever else it is your heart desires to put out regarding this review, please go to this forum post and discuss:

My Take on the Twilight Saga - Discussion